Monday, October 24, 2011

Research and Junk

Yay! It's time to grade research papers again.  Here are some things I have learned to help ease the stress of grading 165 million novice-scribed research papers:
  •  Shamelessly ask students for chocolate and talk up its mood-enhancing effects.  They sometimes oblige.
This is just from the early submissions!
  • Grade 10 research papers per night. It keeps things manageable. Do not procrastinate.  I repeat, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE (ahem...especially via blogging!)
  • Buy "special" grading pens.  Gelly Roll gel pens are a longtime favorite of mine.  I may or may not have just spent a small fortune on them tonight at Hobby Lobby.  Gel pens make me feel all warm and fuzzy, and I don't feel bad using them in the role of "Grammar Nazi" as I grade papers. Zer are nooo contractions in zee research papers! Use zee third person, dummkopf!
Happiness is a new pack of gel pens.
  • Set the alarm on Saturday and Sunday to be grading by 9 a.m. and break at noon for a couple of hours.  Then get back to it until dinner.  After dinner, grade until midnight.  I'd be up that late watching television anyway. 
  • Never save the horrible papers for last.  Sprinkle them in with the good ones. I've had to resist the urge to drown myself in the toilet in the past because I saved the bad ones for last.
  • Enlist any unsuspecting loved one to check off the easy stuff.  Students get points for turning their paper inside a folder, including their outline, rough draft, and abstracts. Joe is my go-to guy for this stuff.  I've even trained him to recognize the MLA heading.  He's a big help, so I share my chocolate with him.
There you have it, folks!  Those are my coping mechanisms for research paper grading. I left of the minor detail about keeping the wine fridge well-stocked because that just goes without saying.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Beastie Baby

There's nothing new or interesting to report, so here's an obnoxiously adorable picture of my dog, Phoebe.



Phoebe Facts:

  •  is going to be 4 in January.
  • was born the same day as my late grandfather.
  • has a c-section scar from her first and last litter of puppies.
  • is obsessed with hunting lizards. It's one of her OCD  yorkie traits.
  • does not care to play with toys.
  • likes to snuggle under the covers at bedtime.
  • weighs in at a whopping 4 lbs.
  • is the resident "fun police" and will growl and bark when Oscar, her 18mo old puppy, has too much fun playing.
  • likes to take road trips and is a great traveling companion.
  • loves Joe and flirts with him like crazy.
  • needs to be shampooed, conditioned, and a blowout once a week.
  • was once in a dog show and placed 2nd.
  • is not a good eater.
  • loves apples, broccoli, and Chef Michael gourmet dog food, but will eat Royal Canin Yorkie food when she feels like it.
  • would probably be a vegetarian if we'd let her.
  • is registered with the AKC as "Yorkminster's Miracle in Motion." How's that for a fancy name? 
  • is the prettiest little yorkie on the face of the planet, if I do say so myself.