Yay! It's time to grade research papers again. Here are some things I have learned to help ease the stress of grading 165 million novice-scribed research papers:
- Shamelessly ask students for chocolate and talk up its mood-enhancing effects. They sometimes oblige.
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| This is just from the early submissions! |
- Grade 10 research papers per night. It keeps things manageable. Do not procrastinate. I repeat, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE (ahem...especially via blogging!)
- Buy "special" grading pens. Gelly Roll gel pens are a longtime favorite of mine. I may or may not have just spent a small fortune on them tonight at Hobby Lobby. Gel pens make me feel all warm and fuzzy, and I don't feel bad using them in the role of "Grammar Nazi" as I grade papers. Zer are nooo contractions in zee research papers! Use zee third person, dummkopf!
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| Happiness is a new pack of gel pens. |
- Set the alarm on Saturday and Sunday to be grading by 9 a.m. and break at noon for a couple of hours. Then get back to it until dinner. After dinner, grade until midnight. I'd be up that late watching television anyway.
- Never save the horrible papers for last. Sprinkle them in with the good ones. I've had to resist the urge to drown myself in the toilet in the past because I saved the bad ones for last.
- Enlist any unsuspecting loved one to check off the easy stuff. Students get points for turning their paper inside a folder, including their outline, rough draft, and abstracts. Joe is my go-to guy for this stuff. I've even trained him to recognize the MLA heading. He's a big help, so I share my chocolate with him.
There you have it, folks! Those are my coping mechanisms for research paper grading. I left of the
minor detail about keeping the wine fridge well-stocked because that just goes without saying.
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