Psychosomatic

Remember getting your finger pricked at the doctor’s office as a child? The nurse squeezed our tiny fingers and drop by excruciating drop, she filled that bottomless glass vile.

I remember it vividly… I whimpered and whined and begged my mother to save me from this “cruel” practice every time. It never worked.

When I was about 4 or 5 years old, I had my blood drawn despite my best fit. Afterwards, my mother was chatting with the receptionist and had squat down in an attempt to wrangle my little brother who was 2 or 3 at the timeI had draped my arms over her shoulders and hugged her from behind…probably wanting a piggy back ride. Gosh..I must have been annoying. Then I remember getting tunnel vision and sliding down her back towards the floor. I awoke to the unpleasant smell of ammonia and my mother and the nurse standing over me. Yep, I’d passed out

My mom felt pretty bad for me (though I am pretty sure she laughed first) and led me to the car then drove me to the nearest McDonald’s and bought me a Coke. I knew she was worried about me because we NEVER went to McDonald’s.

The whole fainting routine continued over the years.

I fainted when I received my vaccinations.

I fainted when people went into great detail of horrific bodily trauma.

Heck, one time I even fainted when in the same room as my brother was when he had his blood drawn.

I’ve never had to wait in the ER, but if I did, I’m pretty certain I would faint.

Needless to say, I NEVER considered a career in the medical field and sadly, I am not a blood donor.

Fortunately, shots don’t bother me anymore, but getting blood drawn is still a challenge. I have had to have blood drawn twice in the past two months,1 and I admit I am quite the diva (read irrational, demanding be-otch) at the lab.

Here are my demands..well more like pathetic requests:

• I must be able to recline or lie completely flat. Those safety chair things won’t cut it. I will pass out. Trust me.
• I must have the very best phlebotomist who can get it right the first time. Digging around in my arm with a needle is no bueno, and I will pass out.
• The phlebotomist must be quick and not show me the viles of blood… if I see them, I will most likely faint.

I realize this all sounds incredibly insane, but that’s how I roll.

I did learn a little trick that has worked the last 3 times I’ve had blood drawn. I read that since fainting is the result of a drop in blood pressure, tensing large muscle groups such as the legs supposedly keeps one’s blood pressure high enough to avoid passing out. So yeah, you bet I was lying on the examination table squeezing my calves, thighs, and glutes with all I had (and trying to be inconspicuous about it). Maybe the muscles tensing really worked or maybe I was so focused on tensing them that I was distracted enough not to pass out.

Anyways, I know it’s all in my head. I have done many online searches to find out why people pass out because of silly things. I realize the drop in blood pressure causes one to pass out, but what triggers the drop in blood pressure? I'm still not entirely sure, though I wonder if it is a fight vs. flight instinct. Maybe I'm like one of those animals who plays dead when it percieves danger. Anyone know?