After a failed attempt to get a mani & pedi at the only (and best) nail salon open on Sunday, I was scanning through some old Myspace blog posts and I found this one called "Only Children and Whores." I'd TOTALLY forgotten about this experience, but it cracked me up. Thought I'd share. Mushy lovey-dovey post to come later.
The Southern Belle Primer (Or Why Princess Margaret will Never be a Kappa Kappa Gamma) clearly states that only children and whores wear red shoes.
I should have taken heed.
It was Saturday night and I was exhausted from one of the most trying weeks of my career. Not so exhausted that I wasn't feeling up to dinner and drinks with my cousin. I decided that I was going to get ready at her new swanky downtown apartment, so I didn't put much care into picking my wardrobe for the journey there. I knew that I would probably change clothes at Amanda's at least three more times before I was ready to go out. This is a bad habit I picked up from Amanda...if you can't beat them, join them. So when I left my house I knew that my lovely red platform wedges were too tall for my jeans. I knew that the perfect pair of long Juicy jeans awaited me in Dallas.
Like always, my car was running low on fuel, so I stopped in Midlothian to fill up, not self-conscious in the least about the disproportionate length of the inseam on my jeans to the height of my heels. It was dark, the place was practically deserted...and I'm married... Who am I trying to impress?
I pumped my gas and walked towards the store to use the ATM. As I reached the front, a man in his late 40s, early 50s leaned out the window of a silver Dodge pickup truck and drawled, "Darlin, those red shoes don't go with your outfit."
I kid you not.
I was mortified! I silently flung a barrage of vulgarities in his direction and went inside. Thanks douchebag! Who did this guy think he was? Carson Kressley?! Clinton Kelly?! Manolo Freakin' Blahnik?!?!?!?!
I don't know why it upset me so much when I knew that he was right. My red shoes didn't look right with my outfit. However, I've seen much more severe fashion blunders that no one dared to critique. I guess it was the audacity of a stranger telling me that got under my skin.
1 comment:
I just had to tell you that I love that quote and I always think of it when I see grown women in red shoes. :)
However, I don't think I'd have quite the audacity to yell at a stranger. Plus you probably looked super cute! How dare he!
Hehe, have fun grading poetry projects :)
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