One of the joys of teaching is that the yearbook photos continue long after one graduates. Today was picture day at school. Over the years I've learned what works and what doesn't. For example, one must wear slightly more make up than usual to avoid looking washed out, etc. But this year I just wanted to make sure the dark circles under my eyes were concealed.
I didn't get much sleep last night. Not going to name any names, but a certain person who dwells in the Casa and his buddy from out of town partied a little too late and loudly last night and went to bed slightly before I had to wake up and go to work. I woke up tired and cranky many times, and I was exceedingly tired when my alarm went off. No sleeping in, though. I had to shower and make sure my hair was perfectly coiffed for picture day. Then I herded students all day.
Fast forward to this evening. I was exhausted and tried to take a power nap when I came home, but I just couldn't sleep, my back hurt, and I was on the verge of tears as a result. The dogs were out of food and I had to go to Petco to get the particular brand they eat. So I left the house on a mission.
I was speeding. 57 in a 45 and I looked in my rear view just in time to see the cop flip his lights on. There was no shoulder, so I had to turn around and park. I just turned the car off in defeat and as the cop approached my car I knew that I couldn't hold it together. (I should note that I've NEVER cried when pulled over. Crying isn't my thing. I just suck it up and hope for mercy.) As soon as the officer asked a question that actually required words rather than nods, I lost it. He asked why I was crying (suspecting crocodile tears, I'm sure, but then the flood gates opened and I became a bawling, sniveling, puffy faced hot mess. He kept asking why I was crying and all I could manage was "bad day" "not enough sleep last night" between pathetic sobs. He took my driver's license and insurance and went back to his car. Then I really lost it. I'd almost pulled myself together when he came back and proceeded to try to talk to me. He was really trying to find out why I was so upset. Battered wife? Child murdering, bi-polar, postpartum mom? Then he asked if taught at the high school, what subject, his mother used to teach there, etc. He must have seen the parking sticker on my rear window. Poor guy.
He was so so nice and let me off with a verbal warning. He told me there were two reasons why he was granting me leniency: one, because I was crying, which he said normally didn't work. I tried to thank him between sobs and tell him that I am not normally such a mess. He never told me the second reason he let me off the hook. I am sure the melodrama was making him uncomfortable. My face, I am certain, was streaking with all that extra makeup I put on for pictures and I was thankful I had gone back in the house for my sunglasses prior to setting off. My nose and lips were red and swelling and I just could not. stop. crying. I cried all the way to Petco, wore my sunglasses inside the store looking like a total d-bag, I am sure, just praying no one noticed and asked what the matter was. I was SO embarrassed.
I felt like such a baby. But after my good cry, the tension in my back went away and I think I will sleep like a baby tonight.
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