The Murtaugh List

"I'm too old for this shit!"

---Roger Murtaugh "Lethal Weapon"

After watching the latest episode of "How I Met Your Mother," I've decided that I should make my very own Murtaugh List. The Murtaugh List consists of things I have decided I am too old for.

1. Staying out until last call...especially in Florida where the bars are open until 4:00am. I came to realize this on my last trip. Heck, I was ready to go home and go to sleep at midnight...only an hour or two after arriving at the bar.

2. Shots. The older I get the more I cringe when they're mentioned.

3. Hangovers. It all seemed like such fun, and then you wake up dehydrated and nauseated topped off with a lovely headache and sudden vampire-like aversion to daylight.

4. Sleeping past noon due to aforementioned hangover. It's a vicious cycle.

5. Tiny Coach purses. They used to be the only Coach purse I could afford. Now they are still they only Coach purse I can afford, but every high school girl has one.

6. Six Flags- my equilibrium is not as forgiving as it used to be. I took a group of Seniors (of the high school variety haha) to Six Flags last spring, rode 3 rides and wanted nothing more than to go back and lay down in our sweltering golden chariot.

7. Mini skirts and hoochie shorts- it's just too much energy making sure the goods aren't on display.

8. Abercrombie, American Eagle, Aero, Hollister- And I mean going anywhere near these places.

9. Tanning beds- I love being tan. I cannot, however, ignore the fine lines forming around my eyes.

10. My belly button ring- I forget I have it, no one ever sees it, but I don't want to take it out.