Sabotage, Paranoia, & Other Side Effects

As of late, I've been watching what I eat a little more closely. My work clothes had gotten a bit snug and uncomfortable and I refused to buy a size up. You know, austerity program and all. (eye roll) So I fell back to the one that I actually enjoy and is healthy...good ol' South Beach. Mainly it just makes me more aware of what I'm putting into my body, like avoiding fried foods :'( , simple carbs, too much caffeine, etc.) The first two weeks are "brutal city," to quote one of my student's favorite lines.

Now I am past it, and my sugar cravings are gone. Translation: I no longer have the overwhelming urge to stop and buy a bag of Lindt Truffles after work twice a week. Those things are like crack! If I exerted myself a bit more I could probably get away with it ;) Note to self: must get butt off of couch and move more to create truffle allowance. Yesterday, I gave P90x Yoga a go. After about 20 minutes, I just watched it because Tony-what's-his name isn't a very good yoga instructor (in comparison to myyogicousinamanda,) and then I switched to P90x "Ab Ripper X" and did about 50 of the 300-something crunches. Sadly, I am sore today.

Now, I try to avoid fast food joints in general, but sometimes I will get a salad or a grilled chicken sandwich if they have whole wheat buns. I like a Diet Cherry Limeade from Sonic now and then, too. Sugar free soda and sugar free cherry syrup. Not exactly healthy, but at least it's not diabetes in a cup. On more than one occasion, I have taken a few sips and tossed the entire thing because even though the receipt says "Diet CL," I have a sneaking suspicion the doofus working the soda fountain wasn't paying attention and inadvertently gave me liquid crack. It makes me furious really. What if I had been a diabetic? Plus I just paid two bucks for two sips of crap...and you didn't put a cherry in it and squeeze the limes? And then I start to rationalize the situation: well maybe they just put more syrup than usual. Or maybe I am so past my sugar addiction that "diet" no longer tastes like "diet." Ugh. There's no way to be certain. In the trash you go. You'd think I'd have learned a lesson by now, but sometimes I just want something fizzy.

Another unfortunate side effect of eating healthier is that along with the awareness of my own choices, I start to notice what other people are putting in their grocery carts. It's strange. It's just at the grocery store. Not while dining around people. As I wait in line with my basket o' fresh produce, diary, meats, whole grain this and that, I watch the mom in front of me unload box after box, bag after bag, bottle after bottle of processed-convenient-medical-bill-inducing-groceries, and I judge them. Not a single fresh veggie or fruit and $200 worth of crap? Sigh. I need to get a life. Terrible of me to judge someone I don't even know, right? Self-righteous? Absolutely. Perhaps they grow their own produce, or buy it somewhere else, I concede...and then, "Can I get a carton of Virginia Slims? Make that two." Suddenly I don't feel like a big, sanctimonious jerkface. Just an average one. Like I said, it's an unfortunate side effect. I hope it subsides soon.